Self-love is ok, too. It is at the heart of giving love to others without setting conditions for them to earn it or be worthy of being or feeling loved. However, many of us, especially those in helping roles, create justifications for why we have to sleep later, eat later, shower later, rest later, relax later, have fun later, etc. This can be learned either through modeled behaviour in our childhood homes or as a result of some unspoken expectations that were rewarded when we put others first and ourselves last or unlisted.

Either way, we might have developed a core belief that limited our capacity to receive the love we deserve or believe we can be loved without conditions like how well we perform or please or satisfy. It is not for judgment what is underlying our actions or beliefs today. It is helpful though to become aware of what is underlying them so we can review, evaluate, and notice where change or difference in actions, thoughts, even beliefs might serve us in the most helpful ways now.

HOW TO FIND AN INSPIRATION

Complete the following sentences and notice what you can do with whatever insight you gain once you review your responses.
I don't always feel comfortable prioritizing my needs over others. Putting my needs before _________________
would mean I am _________________. And ________________________ people who prioritize their needs
are or aren't ________________________. So, I have to __________________ or should
_______________________ so that I am __________________________. Then ___________.
What would happen when I say yes to prioritizing some of my needs?
Then what's the worst thing that would happen?
And then?

Now, choose a small need and explore how this might impact you, others, your performance, or any of your relationships.
If I were to _________________, I might notice improvement in ____________________, _____________,
and ________________.
When I improve ___________________, it might help me ____________________________.
I'd know that it is working well for me because/when __________________________________. As a
consequence of this, _________________ would notice and then ( what would happen). Then
____________________. And then _______________________.

When we deny ourselves what we need and want that nurtures our growth, well-being, and wholeness, we leave ourselves more vulnerable to
remaining stuck in the pain of the past. However, the past has happened and cannot be changed. That leaves us one choice: learn to free ourselves
from it so it is not a lifelong sentence, and we can be here and now. What do you notice comes up when you consider or think about this? Notice any
sensations, emotions, urges, and thoughts. What might be at the heart of this or influencing this to show up when you think about this?
If this keeps you stuck in past pain, what would you wish for yourself?

15 NOV 2024